Full Transcripts
Hi Everyone, welcome to the You’re Daily Cup of Joe Podcast, with your host Joe Bautista. In this podcast, my goal is to give you quick lessons that you can reflect on in your journal so you can grow yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually and have a better career, better relationships, and better personal finances while you enjoy your morning cup of coffee.
I’m also the author of the book “More You Know, More You Grow: How to Get Better Every Day”. In this book, I wrote down over 30 tips to help you grow in those four cornerstones. I’m also the founder of Grow With Joe, where I combine self-development coaching and financial planning for Latino Professionals.
In today’s episode, we are going to talk about the worst distance between two people, which is miscommunication. There is a cognitive distortion that people can do, which is called mind-reading, and this can cause a lot of trouble. People are not mindreaders and will do things based on what they think is best.
This is why it is best to be clear as possible with your expectations. I hired someone to help me with my business and I gave them the task of setting up my newsletter. So that I could easily just go into there and input my stuff and then review it before I hit send. I thought I gave good directions but the person ended up sending the newsletter before it was ready to go out. It was basically a duplicate of the previous week’s newsletter.
She did what she thought she was supposed to do and I thought she was going to do something else. So realize that mistakes are going to be made. This is going to happen in every relationship. This is especially a problem with your spouse. I was married for nine years and I don’t think we communicated our expectations clearly and also we didn’t know what we really wanted out of life. So we did the mind-reading thing and it caused us the drift apart.
It’s not enough to say something once because after enough time people will fall back into their habits or want to make the standard their standard. There is going to compromise if things want to move forward too. As we’ve seen in countless television shows, miscommunication hardly ever works out. It causes people to move towards their goals and that is probably not going to be the goal of the collective group.
So it’s important that we work on our communication skills and to have the courage to say things that need to be said. A big thing with mind reading is that people don’t want to have an uncomfortable conversation about explaining their wants. They think the other person is going to judge them and it can cause the relationship to get weaker.
This is the wrong mentality to have, why hold back on your desires, and if the other person is not on board, maybe that person is not truly right for you and you would be much better off finding someone else. Maintain a distance of miscommunication is good for no one and will just create resent and collateral damage. So have the strength and try to be clear with your expectations and communications as possible. Your life will be better this way.
And that’s it for today’s episode, to summarize it, the worst distance between two people is miscommunication. It’s going to cause frustration, lost time, less happiness, and create more hostility in your life. And have the strength to express your expectation and not let mind-reading take over. No one can read our minds one hundred percent of the time and if something is bugging us, we need to communicate how to resolve the issue. And don’t be a jerk about expressing your expectation either. And if someone is not willing to change with your clear communication, then maybe it’s time to time to remove that person and find someone else to communicate with.
If you would like to get the journal questions for today’s episode, you can sign-up for my monthly journaling subscription newsletter, where you get daily journal questions Monday through Friday, and as a bonus, you will also get my time management course and my personal development cheat sheet. You can get all this for $13/mo, which is less than the cost of an audible subscription and it’s less work to gain more wisdom. You can get this offer at growwithjoe.me/journal
Thanks for listening today! To get a free copy of my Audiobook “More You Know, More You Grow: How to get better every day” just go to my website growwithjoe.me/book and you can download it right there.
I have a quiz on my website that grades your inner circle, so if you want to find out if your inner circle is an A, B, C, D, or F, you can take that quiz at growwithjoe.me/quiz
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Thanks for joining me today and remember if you go with Joe, you can grow with Joe, cause Joe knows Dough.
