In this episode, we discuss when is the best time to help people out and how to do so.
Full Transcript
Hi Everyone, welcome to the You’re Daily Cup of Joe Podcast, with your host Joe Bautista, where my goal is to give you quick lessons on how to grow yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually so you can have better careers, better relationships, and better personal finances.
I’m also the author of the book “More You Know, More You Grow: How to Get Better Every Day”. In this book, I wrote down over 30 tips to help you grow in those four cornerstones.
In today’s episode, we’re are going to talk about who you should help out in life. In the Coast Guard, they have a rule when there are more people to save then they can handle, they only save the ones that swim towards them. If they tried to go after the ones that don’t swim towards them, then they can cause even more damage.
When I was doing financial planning in my last firm, I realized that you can’t help people that don’t want to be helped. You can see how they are struggling financially and you can offer your help and spend three hours out of your day to try to go help them, but unless they are ready for the help and swimming towards you, all that time and effort will be for nothing.
When it comes to this self-development business I’m running, I can’t help the people who are not ready to take my advice. It will always end in me being frustrated because nothing will come out of it.
So when it comes to us and others, we have to be coachable and accept somebody’s wisdom to help us out. I feel like I’m very coachable and will accept advice from somebody that is willing to help me.
I might be busy to take the advice right now but I will put it on the back burner and will get to eventually. There are so many things that I have to do and I just have to prioritize what is the most important task in front of me.
But the key thing is that I am willing to swim towards the boat. If someone told me that I need to be somewhere at 6 am to become successful, I will do it. I remember hearing of events in NYC and Miami, and I made sure to go because I wanted to improve my current situation and wanted to hear the wisdom of successful folks and network with some other like-minded individuals.
It’s very tiring trying to change someone that doesn’t want to change. I remember in my last long-lasting relationship, we were having issues with the dishes and we agreed that instead of leaving dishes in the sink, we would immediately clean them or put them in the dishwasher and I agreed to it.
I was the one that tended to wash the dishes and I was busy with work, but I tried to keep my end of the bargain. Then came a point there were dishes in the sink and I mentioned something to her and she got upset about it. I said whatever because I know I can’t change someone who doesn’t want change and I ended up doing the dishes.
It wasn’t a deal-breaker but it reminded me that we want to be a better version of ourselves, but we will never get to that person unless we are willing to change who we currently are. I can’t do everything and I know I’m going to need help.
She might have been busy with something else and those things happen, but I just ended up doing the dishes more often because we all have certain habits. I know I have a habit of putting my shoes everywhere and that was something she didn’t like. I still do it though. Since I’m tall I don’t like to bend over and take my shoes off at the door. I rather take my shoes off when I’m sitting down. That’s my preference, and then the shoes end up next to the place I took them off at. I’m not willing to change in that area.
If someone is a hoarder, for example, you’re not going to change their habits by preaching to them. I would say the best thing you can do is not enable their behavior by going to garage sales with them or the mall where they have the ability to accumulate more junk. Just drop hints and let them swim to the boat.
Just say the boat is over there and if you want to survive, you just have to swim over there.
I want to improve as a person because I know it’s the only way I’m going to reach my goals. So I have to be willing to swim towards success. I read so much, I watch a lot of YouTube videos, and listen to a lot of podcasts because I want to hear what successful people have to say in the world. If I expected them to come to me, it would never happen. I know I have to go to them by taking action.
If I just focus on getting one percent wiser, one percent healthier, one percent closer to finishing my projects, and one percent closer to dreams every single day, then I will get what I want out of life. I have to go towards it by swimming in it. So if this is required of myself, then I have to expect people who need my help to do the same. Otherwise, I’m going to waste money and time and I don’t want to waste either. I’ll keep the door open but I’m not going to push anybody through the door. The best way to help them to go through that door is just to set the example and tell them about my office hours.
The real ones will show up and the fake ones won’t.
That’s it for today’s episode, to summarize it, you can lead a camel to water but you can’t force that camel to drink. Don’t waste your time trying to force something. Let that fire burn and hopefully, the person will realize that they are getting burned but be there when someone needs help.
Thanks for listening to today’s episode.
To get a free copy of my book “More You Know, More You Grow: How to get better every day” just go to my website growwithjoe.me/book and just pay for shipping and handling.
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Thanks for joining me today and remember if you go with Joe, you can grow with Joe, cause Joe knows Dough.
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