In this episode, we discuss the importance of understanding emotional intelligence.
Full Transcript
Hi Everyone, welcome to the You’re Daily Cup of Joe Podcast, with your host Joe Bautista, where my goal is to give you quick lessons on how to grow yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually so you can have better careers, better relationships, and better personal finances.
I’m also the author of the book “More You Know, More You Grow: How to Get Better Every Day”. In this book, I wrote down over 30 tips to help you grow in those four cornerstones.
In today’s episode, we’re are going to talk about the value of understanding human nature. If you look at every ultra-successful people in the history of mankind. The one thing that they have in common is that they understand human nature.
They understand what people want, their desires, and their fears, and they do stuff that will play to those human tendencies.
So understanding emotional intelligence is going to be key if you want to succeed in today’s economy. There were people in your environment who will be jealous, some will be helpful, some will be good to be around, and other people will want to create some distance.
To help you understand human nature, I would definitely check out the book “How To Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie. The best lesson I got from that book was to be friendly and start using people’s names as much as possible.
For people, there is no sweeter sound than hearing their own voice. Plus a majority of the people that work in the service industry feel like robots when they interact with their customers so when they come across someone that seems human, they are more likely to treat you better.
I have gotten free shots at the bar because I always make it point to learn their names and use them when I can. They are people and deserve to be treated as such. So try to remember people’s names and use them as much as possible.
You also have to understand human nature. You have to know how to use the right words and understand the words people are saying. They might be saying one thing, but they really want something else. I took an improv class, and it really helps read other people. Improv helps because you play these games where a lot of things are happening at once, and first, it seems chaotic, but after 12 weeks of playing those games, you’re able to slow things down, process it, and spit something out really fast. So when I’m in client meetings, I might say something where the client winces and then I can have the opportunity to address that wince because if I don’t know, they whatever I’m trying to help them achieve, they won’t be able to achieve it because they are still holding on to this issue. And the only way I can discover that issue is to ask more questions that will help the client feel comfortable and share what is the root cause of the wince.
This can save you a lot of time because I could spend hours building a plan, but if the client is not ready to implement that financial plan, then the work was for nothing. This can happen in other parts of your life. Especially in relationships. You might want to do something and you’re all excited and your friend or partner just says yes to please you in the moment and then when it comes to doing the thing, they don’t want to do it because they were never on board in the first place. This can create a lot of unnecessary drama and waste a lot of time because both parties didn’t understand emotional intelligence.
We can hear what is going on but if the other person is not listening, then the communication was for nothing and just create issue down the road. So you have to understand people’s fears, their desires, their needs, and their wants if you want to be a successful person and be comfortable with uncomfortable conversations. This is one area where I still have issues in and I’m trying to become better at it. I feel like I’m much better than I was in the past. I remember a couple of months ago, I left a mess in the kitchen because I had to take this phone call for an hour, then my roommate came home and got upset. He said something but I was on the phone. Then I noticed he was distance and then I finally address the issue by saying I was sorry for making the mess and I would do better to not do it the future. We resolved the issue but there would have been a time in the past where I would have just let it continue to fester because I didn’t want to address the conflict.
It wasn’t that bad looking back at it and things are better now. Squash an issue as fast as possible because the longer you let it go, the worst things are going to be. And I think improv really helped me with addressing conflict because it helps you do uncomfortable things and addressing conflict is extremely uncomfortable for me.
When you go against people like Donald Trump and Mother Teresa, they both want to receive communication in a different way because they value different things. So if you can understand what they value, then you will be a better communicator. I had to change my communication style with my mom because I realized it very blunt and that style of communication is just going to shut her down, just I have to use a different form of communication. Sometimes you have to be blunt and sometimes you have to use a velvet hammer, soft but firm to get your point across, but you need to understand human nature what people need.
That’s only going to come from working on yourself and working on your craft. If you want to truly be successful at life, you have to understand human nature because you’re eventually going to have to interact with someone else. Nothing is going to come towards you, you have to go towards the things you want out of life and being able to understand people is going to get you there.
Life is good if you can understand these principles for human nature because it will allow you to see what is important and what isn’t important for you to focus on. If you can focus on the important stuff in life and avoid the unimportant stuff, then you will live a good life. Don’t and you will live a life full of struggle.
Thanks for listening to today’s episode, to summarize it, understand human nature if you want to win a life. So read the book “How To Win Friends and Influence People” By Dale Carnegie, Laws of Human Nature by Robert Greene, and take an improv class if you want to increase your emotional intelligence and win the day.
To get a free copy of my book “More You Know, More You Grow: How to get better every day” just go to my website growwithjoe.me/book and just pay for shipping and handling.
I have a quiz on my website that grades your inner circle, so if you want to find out if your inner circle is an A, B, C, D, or F, you can take that quiz at growwithjoe.me/quiz
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Thanks for joining me today and remember if you go with Joe, you can grow with Joe, cause Joe knows Dough.
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