In today’s episode, we’re going to discuss how failure is not the opposite of success, it’s not trying at all.
Full Transcript
Hi Everyone, welcome to the You’re Daily Cup of Joe Podcast, with your host Joe Bautista. In this podcast, my goal is to give you quick lessons on how to grow yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually so you can have better careers, better relationships, and better personal finances.
I’m also the author of the book “More You Know, More You Grow: How to Get Better Every Day”. In this book, I wrote down over 30 tips to help you grow in those four cornerstones. I’m also the founder of Grow With Joe, where I combine self-development coaching and financial planning for Latino Professionals.
In today’s episode, we’re are going to talk about the opposite of success. Now, most people will say the opposite of success is failure but the real answer is not trying at all. When you try something new and don’t reach that goal, you still come out with some lessons on how to become a better person and what you need to do next time to become successful.
It’s when we don’t even try at all, is when we ultimately fail at that thing. And most of the time, success requires multiple attempts. If you’re studying for an exam, you need to study multiple hours in order to get the material down. If you spend no time learning about a subject, you’re pretty much setting yourself up for failure. You didn’t try in that scenario. This is not saying that you can spend multiple hours studying for something and still not pass something.
I remember right after I moved from Oregon to DC after I graduated school, I thought I wanted to get a Ph.D. in Economics, so that meant that I need to study for the GRE. I went to a couple of schools in the DC area to see what it would take to get a Ph.D. in Economics, and a great GRE score was required. So I spent my summer trying to study for the exam and I didn’t get a very good score. But during that time after doing the GRE, I had time to reflect on getting a Ph.D. in Economics. I went back to school to get another bachelor’s degree and I noticed that a lot of the professors with PhDs didn’t like the administrative monster they were in. Plus I noticed that PhDs had to spend a lot of time on their dissertation and it could cost a lot of money to get that degree.
Coming from the military and federal government, I didn’t want to deal with bureaucratic nonsense anymore and if I would have gotten a good enough GRE score to get into a PhD program, then my life might be very different than right now. Probably wouldn’t be a bad life but I certainly enjoy what I am doing right now with my life and Grow With Joe. But because of that experience of actually going out and trying, I didn’t fail in the grand scheme of things, I actually got better in life. It would of been a different story if I didn’t try at all.
If I didn’t try at all, I would still be a mediocre person who has known their full potential. So by actually taking action in my life, I was able to propel my life forward and not stay stagnant. I’m a big believer that we need to take action if we want to see a positive difference. Sometimes that action won’t meet the expectation that we set up for ourselves but it won’t all be for nothing. It’s when you do nothing to change your situation is when you actually fail. The average millionaire will face bankruptcy 3.1 times and it will take them 10-15 years to reach this point. So if they stopped taking action at any point, they will stop being successful. This also requires you to keep going.
Some people have a longer runway than others dealing with debt levels and family commitments but the idea is that you need to still keep taking action. Also, the average silicon millionaire doesn’t become one on average until they are 49 and are on their third business. So you need to have perspective on life to realize that when you see someone that is successful, you’re just seeing their highlight reel and you don’t see all the things that went into building that success. So if you see someone is successful and it makes you not want to try because they already have it, then you already failed.
A successful life is not easy, it takes hard work and to do uncomfortable things in life. If you choose a life that is easy and comfortable, then you won’t accomplish that much as a person. There are times where I wish things were easier but then I remind myself of the Jim Rohn quote, “Don’t wish it was easier, wish you were better.” I might have to take time to rest and recover but I just need to get back in it and start taking action.
Most people hear the question what’s the opposite of success and they think failure. This then create a bad cycle, where if you try something and you’re not successful on the first attempt, then you’re labeled as a failure. But if you reframe the question as the opposite of success is not trying, now you’re framing not being successful as being inactive. And no one really wants to be a failure so if your actions are dictating that you’re being the opposite of a success, then you’re be more prone to take steps not to be the opposite of success.
When the question of what’s the opposite of success is a failure, then it becomes something where if I try and don’t make it, I’m a failure. So it’s better not to try at all. I read this great book called Grit by Angela Duckworth and she said that we raise kids, we should praise effort and not talent. When you praise talent, then kids are less likely to have grit and perseverance to take on harder tasks because they don’t want to go against their identity. If they take on this tougher assignment and don’t pass it, then they won’t be as talented as people think they are. But if you praise a kid on effort, then it can become a thing is where they didn’t put enough effort in to become successful and they just need to put more effort in to become successful.
How you frame things in life is going to be a big determinate for your life is. As a financial planner, the clients that I sit in front have these money scripts that they tell themselves how their relationship with money should be. Some will be spenders because you have to spend everything you got right now because you don’t know when the next good time will happen. Some will be savers from the same experience. So how you frame things in life, you can get a good picture of how you’re taking action or not on certain things. So ask yourself, how am I framing this situation and am I using the right lens to help me become successful in this situation. Do this right, and you’ll live the life that you’ll want to live.
That’s it for today’s episode, to summarize it, the opposite of success is not failure, it’s not trying at all. So if you want to become successful in life, you just need to start taking more action in life and you have to realize that success takes a while to happen. If it did happen real quick, then you probably wouldn’t have strong enough roots to handle the first storm. So start re-framing success and other scripts you have in your head so you can start having more success in your life. When you continue to live life by the wrong scripts, it just going to lead you to an unhappy ending. Don’t let that happen to you.
To get a free copy of my book “More You Know, More You Grow: How to get better every day” just go to my website growwithjoe.me/book and just pay for shipping and handling.
I have a quiz on my website that grades your inner circle, so if you want to find out if your inner circle is an A, B, C, D, or F, you can take that quiz at growwithjoe.me/quiz
I’m also trying to do a feedback Friday episode, so if you have a question that you would like to have me answer on the air, just e-mail me at [email protected]
I’m also on Instagram at Grow With Joe and Facebook just look up Grow With Joe
If you’re on iTunes, don’t forget to give me a five-star rating if you liked this episode.
Thanks for joining me today and remember if you go with Joe, you can grow with Joe, cause Joe knows Dough.
*Music outro
