In this episode, we discuss how it’s important to know what you should care about and what you shouldn’t care about.
Full Transcript
Hi Everyone, welcome to the You’re Daily Cup of Joe Podcast, with your host Joe Bautista. In this podcast, my goal is to give you quick lessons on how to grow yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually so you can have better careers, better relationships, and better personal finances.
I’m also the author of the book “More You Know, More You Grow: How to Get Better Every Day”. In this book, I wrote down over 30 tips to help you grow in those four cornerstones. I’m also the founder of Grow With Joe, where I combine self-development coaching and financial planning for Latino Professionals.
In today’s episode, we’re are going to talk about when to give a fuck. You have to understand that you only have so many fucks to give in one day and in one’s life so you have to be careful where you give your fucks. You can also give a fuck about something where you shouldn’t have given a fuck.
With some things in life, no matter how many fucks you give, it won’t do anything. Where you give your fucks will show what you value in life. You could value something but it won’t value you back. The key is when the thing you give fucks to doesn’t give you any fucks back, it’s time to find another to thing to care about.
I feel like one of the things that I gave a lot of fucks to was the Marines. I dedicated a lot of time and resources trying to make my job a smooth-running machine. I spent time trying to learn new tasks and to fix old problems and once you leave the Corps, you think the title of being a veteran and being a Marine will take you far in life. I was rudely awakened when I entered the civilian world. Sure you get some nice perks every once in a while but overall it’s like the quote “Success is never owned, it’s rented, and the rent is due every day.”
I remember interacting with other Marines once I was a civilian and once you step out of those cammies, you won’t be seen the same as you were by Marines. I know I can’t be hurt by this because people like their tribes and if you don’t wear the uniform, then you’re not in the circle. Plus if you’re not in a uniform, then civilians will see you differently as well. I would say, don’t make the military or anything you used to identify with, your entire identity. It can shape you as a person but don’t live in the past, you got to continue to grow as a person. So maybe you should stop giving so many fucks about your past so you can move on with your life. Once I got out of the Marines, I felt that being in the military wasn’t the huge stepping stone it was perceived to be. It helped developed me a lot but I realized that I need to do other things as a person if I wanted to succeed in the civilian world.
When it comes to relationships, if you care a lot about someone but they don’t care about you, I would just move you. You’re just going to be wasting your energy and time on something that isn’t going to grow. You might have to put a lot of energy into giving you attention but as soon as you let up on that energy and time, then they will probably find someone else. It can suck trying to find someone else, but if you want to maintain your stability, it is what you have to do. It can be lonely to be alone but you just have to be okay with being alone and going out and keep trying to find someone. I feel the same way about a job. You can give your everything to a job but that won’t be enough for someone to get rid of you when the time comes. I’m a big believer that you need to protect yourself from being one 100 percent reliant on your job. You really can give too many fucks about certain things and then they just leave you. It’s important to give relationships and your job, a lot of energy, but be aware that there might come a day where they don’t care about you. It will sting a little but all you can do is to find something else to give a fuck about.
If you try to care about everything, then that is just going to burn you out. Some problems are just too big to handle by one person. You can care about the environment and if you put all the fucks upon yourself, then you’re going to kill yourself, you need to know how to spread the fucks out between other people and to change something systematic climate change, then you need to find ways to leverage your time and effort or else nothing is really going to change.
I guess when it comes down today’s lesson, it’s about valuing things that will make a difference for yourself and the ones you care about but to also make sure you’re being efficient with your time and energy. You don’t want to try to cut the grass on a football field with a pair of dull scissors. You’ll just get too tired, it will probably be a poor job, and it will take too long. Value getting better tools and make sure that task is something you really want to do with your life. I don’t want to live my life where my fucks are put to waste. My fucks are very valuable and I want to make sure they going to good use.
If I spend an hour on something, I’m choosing to give everything else in my life at that moment to spend that one hour on that one thing. So if that thing doesn’t value me for the value I give it, then I just have to find something else. But somethings just need to be given a lot of fucks to make social and structural changes because you have to overcome somebody else’s fuck. This is a delicate line to tow and you have to know that when it’s all said and done, that your fucks mattered and were used wisely.
That’s it for today’s episode, to summarize it, you have to know when to give a fuck in life and a great book that teaches this lesson is the subtle art of not giving a fuck by Mark Manson. This book really changed my perception of life and got me thinking about how I should spend my time and money. A majority of my day is focusing on the things that I give the most fucks about, and if I’m hanging with you, it means I give a fuck about you and don’t waste that opportunity. Life is short and you want to make sure that you’re spending your time on the important things in life and minimize your time on the unimportant stuff, and once you realize the difference between the two, you can know when to give a fuck and when not to give a fuck.
To get a free copy of my book “More You Know, More You Grow: How to get better every day” just go to my website growwithjoe.me/book and just pay for shipping and handling.
I have a quiz on my website that grades your inner circle, so if you want to find out if your inner circle is an A, B, C, D, or F, you can take that quiz at growwithjoe.me/quiz
I’m also trying to do a feedback Friday episode, so if you have a question that you would like to have my answer on the air, just e-mail me at [email protected]
I’m also on Instagram at Grow With Joe and Facebook just look up Grow With Joe
If you’re on ITunes, don’t forget to give me a five-star rating if you liked this episode.
Thanks for joining me today and remember if you go with Joe, you can grow with Joe, cause Joe knows Dough.
*Music outro
