In this episode, we discuss how it’s not much use to convince a person they are doing wrong. They need to see with their eyes what good is.
Full Transcript
Hi Everyone, welcome to the You’re Daily Cup of Joe Podcast, with your host Joe Bautista. In this podcast, my goal is to give you quick lessons that you can reflect on in your journal so you can grow yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually and have a better career, better relationships, and better personal finances while you enjoy your morning cup of coffee.
I’m also the author of the book “More You Know, More You Grow: How to Get Better Every Day”. In this book, I wrote down over 30 tips to help you grow in those four cornerstones. I’m also the founder of Grow With Joe, where I combine self-development coaching and financial planning for Latino Professionals.
At the end of today’s podcast episode, I’m going to give you a prompt question to reflect on in your journal. The idea is to take one to five minutes to reflect on today’s lesson and write a minimum of one paragraph on how you can apply the lesson in your life. You can use an actual journal, a word document like on Google Drive, or your note-taking app like Evernote. The idea is that you’re actually thinking about how to process the information to help you improve your life.
In today’s episode, we are going to talk about the Henry David Thoreau quote, if you want to convince a man that he does wrong, do right. But do not care to convince him. Men will believe what they see. Let them see. This quote is about setting the example and letting the other person come to realize that they are doing wrong. When people are able to internalize their actions and see that it’s not up to standard, then they can change their ways.
Now there are three types of incentives that can cause people to change their behavior and they are financial, social, and moral ones. This quote is about affecting social and moral incentives. If you want to be a good neighbor, then act like a good neighbor and set the example. There was a study done that wanted to see what was the best way to reduce energy consumption.
The electricity company sent out different flyers like discounts on saving money, messages about saving the environment, and one the ranked their energy consumption against other people in their neighborhood. And the one that worked the best was the flyer that compared the other person to their peers.
Now, this was social cue to do better. So if you want a better community, do things that will create a better community. If you want a better relationship, do things that create a better relationship. And if you want to end social injustices, do something that will remove those social injustices. This is going to be work and requires effort. It’s easy to wish somebody would do better, but you have to show them what excellence looks like. The other person has to see it with their eyes.
To nag at someone is not going to be that effective. And by setting the example, you can affect the moral and social incentives that will get people to act the right way because the other person sees with their eyes on what the right thing to do is.
One of the reasons why I hated being in the Marines, was the hypocrisy that I saw with my superiors. They would be late, not do their work, and just be a jerk sometimes, and as someone with lower rank, you can’t really fight that person or argue with them without the fear of getting in trouble. Then their behavior made me not work to work as hard. This takes a lot of work to set the example but it’s required to make the world a better place. The worst thing we can do is be a hypocrite in the situation and expect other people to do better when you’re not willing to put the work in yourself.
That’s it for today’s episode, to summarize it, to convince a man that he does wrong, do right. But do not care to convince him. Men will believe what they see. Let them see. Not of things are changing with the protests because there are a lot of people out their who want to change the standard. I can’t believe the confederate flag is being removed from a lot of places like NASCAR and military bases. Those institutions are setting an example. So let’s hope more positive change happens and if you want that in your life, have high standards for yourself and do the work within your community to affect that change. Which reminds of me the Marcus Aurelius quote, don’t argue what a good man should be, be one. This is all it takes to make things better.
So in your journal, ask yourself, What is an area of your life that needs to be improved? How can you raise your standards to get a better outcome? How can use one or three of the incentives, which are financial, social, or moral, to help you get what you want? Are you mentally strong enough to set the high standard? If not, what can you do to be stronger? There is no use trying to convince a person that they should change, they need to see it themselves, so set example and let the other people know that this is what the example should be. If we all did this, then we can make our lives, community, nation, and the world a better place.
Thanks for listening today! To get a free copy of my audiobook “More You Know, More You Grow: How to get better every day” just go to my website growwithjoe.me/book and you can download it right there.
I have a quiz on my website that grades your inner circle, so if you want to find out if your inner circle is an A, B, C, D, or F, you can take that quiz at growwithjoe.me/quiz
I’m also trying to do a feedback Friday episode, so if you have a question that you would like to have my answer on the air, just e-mail me at [email protected]
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Thanks for joining me today and remember if you go with Joe, you can grow with Joe, cause Joe knows Dough.
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