In this episode, we discuss how some things are better just to be left alone instead of trying to change them.
Full Transcript
Hi Everyone, welcome to the You’re Daily Cup of Joe Podcast, with your host Joe Bautista. In this podcast, my goal is to give you quick lessons that you can reflect on in your journal so you can grow yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually and have a better career, better relationships, and better personal finances while you enjoy your morning cup of coffee.
I’m also the author of the book “More You Know, More You Grow: How to Get Better Every Day”. In this book, I wrote down over 30 tips to help you grow in those four cornerstones. I’m also the founder of Grow With Joe, where I combine self-development coaching and financial planning for Latino Professionals.
In today’s episode, we are going to talk about how somethings will stay the same. This is an important lesson to know because it helps you understand where you should place your energy. I’ve tried to change some people by helping them out, but they just wanted to stay the same.
There are institutions I was at that I wanted to change but they just wanted to stay the same. People are so entrenched in their way of thinking that no matter the amount of evidence that supports change, they will stay the same.
You also have to look at human nature and see somethings won’t change. There will always be jealous, there will always be people who are very giving and some people who are just wondering. I know that I can’t change these people or institutions, so I need to know how to work with them.
In financial planning, I notice when I started my own firm is that people still suck at following-up and prioritizing finances. People think that everything needs to be perfect before they start. They think that they have to do their taxes or wait for this pay period to get started. Sometimes this is a valid choice but sometimes it’s just an excuse.
Since I experience this avoidance before, I’m not surprised by it and I just make sure my follow-up system is solid and keep following up until they are ready or tell me to stop contacting them. I can’t get mad at people, I just have to realize that this is how the world works.
That the key thing about today’s podcast is that is something that just stays the same, it’s how nature operates. We can do things to shape our environment but changing the whole world is going to be really tough or impossible.
If you have to take care of someone that is elderly and can’t stop eating poorly, doesn’t want to exercise, and continues to drink heavily and smoke, I think it’s just best to let that people do what they want to do, but don’t enable their behavior. Don’t shame them for there behaviors but be a resource if they need them and set the example for how to live. Maybe they are old and want to pass away soon and they rather are happily indulging these sins.
Obviously there is a balance between pleasure and discipline but remember that discipline brings freedom. If you take care of yourself, then you’ll be more mobile in your golden years, but some people are just tired and want to take it easy. I have too much on my plate to be pushing people into a new behavior. I can pull somebody who is willing to change, but I can’t use all my energy to push them.
So sometimes the best thing to do is just move on but leave the door open if the person wants to finally change. I’m a big believer that if you want to change the world, start with changing yourself first by adding more skills to your life. And the best way to predict the future is to go out and create it yourself. So if you want your best life, change yourself first, and then learn how to work within your environment to make your dreams come true. Trying to change the world is like a hammer trying to change an anvil. Too much force by the hammer is just going to break the hammer and leave the anvil the same.
And that’s it for today’s episode, to summarize it, somethings will stay the same. I think as people we want to change people but we have to remember that if we can control people, that means that people can control us. And I don’t want someone else to control me. But if you want your best future, know your environment and know what you can control in a situation and what you can’t control in the situation, and just focus on the stuff that you can control. And what you can control is your mind, and how you think and what your prioritize. If you can align these two things in the right way within your environment, you’re going to be unstoppable even though the people in it will stay the same.
If you would like to get the journal questions for today’s episode, you can sign-up for my monthly journaling subscription newsletter, where you get daily journal questions Monday through Friday, and as a bonus, you will also get my time management course and my personal development cheat sheet. You can get all this for $13/mo, which is less than the cost of an audible subscription and it’s less work to gain more wisdom. You can get this offer at growwithjoe.me/journal
Thanks for listening today! To get a free copy of my Audiobook “More You Know, More You Grow: How to get better every day” just go to my website growwithjoe.me/book and you can download it right there.
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Thanks for joining me today and remember if you go with Joe, you can grow with Joe, cause Joe knows Dough.
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