Full Transcript
Hi Everyone, welcome to the You’re Daily Cup of Joe Podcast, with your host Joe Bautista. In this podcast, my goal is to give you quick lessons that you can reflect on in your journal so you can grow yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually and have a better career, better relationships, and better personal finances while you enjoy your morning cup of coffee.
I’m also the author of the book “More You Know, More You Grow: How to Get Better Every Day”. In this book, I wrote down over 30 tips to help you grow in those four cornerstones. I’m also the founder of Grow With Joe, where I combine self-development coaching and financial planning for Latino Professionals.
In today’s episode, we are going to discuss Dale Carnegie’s book, “How To Win Friends and Influence People.” I’m from a small town in Oregon and networking was never my thing. My parents didn’t really take us to see their friends and they usually just stayed home after work. Plus I was really shy as a kid because I was overweight and didn’t want too much attention on myself. I was pretty socially awkward for most of my life. If I was in a crowd, I didn’t want to bring attention to myself and I would literally just l leave the group without telling anyone.
Then I moved to Washington, DC, and realized that I needed to start networking and socializing more if I wanted to create more opportunities for myself. This is the reason why I read Dale Carnegie’s book on networking. And the only thing I remember from the book is that you want to ask questions and about people and you want to use people’s names. There is nothing sweeter to someone’s ear than to hear their own voice.
This is why I ask for people’s names and will use their name if I see it on their name tag. This is especially helpful at restaurants, cafes, and bars. It’s going to get you better service and if you have trouble, you’re more likely to get service. Also, you want to hear what people have to say and sprinkle in ways to show that you’re listening.
You don’t want to up one person, but you want to show that you sympathize or empathize with the person. Also, you don’t want to go on a question train where you’re constantly asking questions. I think taking an improv class is really good at building up these skills. I took a level one and two in Washington, DC and I feel like helping me out when interacting with other people and it helped me with my dating life.
When it comes to remembering names, I usually just say the person’s name. in my head seven times and then I imagine that their name is written on their head. This is usually helpful with names that I’m used to, but it’s a name that I’m hearing for the first time, then I usually have trouble because I can’t picture that name on that person’s head. It’s also wise to ask for a business card or two writes down the name on your phone. I use Evernote to do that and put it in my CRM notebook. Plus you don’t want to use people’s names too much but just sprinkle it in from time to time and especially when you say goodbye to someone.
You’re not going to please everyone if you use these tips, but they are recommended to put out more goodness in the world. Plus they also show that you’re kind. And there is a difference between being nice and kind. Being nice is not want to cause harm to anyone, but kind is putting in the extra effort to create joy in someone else’s life. And if you give someone else more joy, then they are more likely to like you as a person. I know for myself, I don’t want to hang around jerks.
I was at this bar the other night to watch football and eat some wings, and there was this one ex-pat that was really rude. He called one of his friends and just started yelling at the guy for being overweight. I was overweight as a kid and I know that response would not make me feel good. If I was the guy at home, I would not want to talk to that person again. He was not kind. He might be a nice guy most times, but he was not doing anyone any favors that night.
Overall the goal is to bring joy to someone else’s life. And it doesn’t take much, but it does take extra effort. I fail at this at times, but I just to beware of how I’m acting out in the world. If you bring enough joy to people’s lives that you’re going to have more allies and have more influence with folks. When stuff goes down, you want to be able to reach out to folks for help. I remember when I got divorced from my ex, and my buddy from work allowed me to sleep on his couch for a month until I got things situated. We were good friends at work and I tried to figure out ways to bring joy to his life. I still do by sending helping information and memes.
Mary Kay had a principle where she imagined everyone was wearing a sign that said, “I’m important” and she would then try to find out what made that person important. Like with every tip I give out on this podcast, you can use this information for good, or you can use it for evil. Let’s hope you use it for good, cause the world needs more kindness.
And that’s it for today’s episode, to summarize it, read Dale Carnegie’s book to get more tips on how to win friends and influence people. Another great book to read is Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi. But the main points are to use people’s names, ask questions in the right way to show interest, and bring joy to their life. If you can do this, then you’re going to have more allies and options in life and my philosophy in life is that you need to build up your human capital, social capital, and financial capital. Building up these three areas will help you when life gets tough and trust me, life will eventually get tough one day. It might not happen for years or decades, but something is going to happen one day. We don’t live on an island and we can’t do everything on our own, so we need the help of others. But we should strive to put more kindness out in the world than we receive. If we do this then the world and our lives will be better, and why would we want this?
If you would like to get the journal questions for today’s episode, you can sign-up for my monthly journaling subscription newsletter, where you get daily journal questions Monday through Friday, and as a bonus, you will also get my time management course and my personal development cheat sheet. You can get all this for $13/mo, which is less than the cost of an audible subscription and it’s less work to gain more wisdom. You can get this offer at growwithjoe.me/journal
Thanks for listening today! To get a free copy of my Audiobook “More You Know, More You Grow: How to get better every day” just go to my website growwithjoe.me/book and you can download it right there.
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