In this episode, we discuss the best ways to dish out revenge.
Full Transcript
Hi Everyone, welcome to the You’re Daily Cup of Joe Podcast, with your host Joe Bautista. In this podcast, my goal is to give you quick lessons on how to grow yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually so you can have better careers, better relationships, and better personal finances.
I’m also the author of the book “More You Know, More You Grow: How to Get Better Every Day”. In this book, I wrote down over 30 tips to help you grow in those four cornerstones. I’m also the founder of Grow With Joe, where I combine self-development coaching and financial planning for Latino Professionals.
In today’s episode, we’re are going to talk about the best form of revenge. It is to have massive success and not to be like your enemy.
I got these two lessons from Frank Sinatra and Marcus Aurelius. Let’s talk about the first one with Frank Sinatra. He said the best form of revenge is a massive success. I feel that nothing will crush the ones that slighted you more than having massive success or success in general. They might not return your phone calls or give you the time of day now, but once you gain your success, they might be asking for a favor.
When I was in DC, I saw this a lot in terms that it was about who you knew or what you could that got people to pay attention to you. This was not with everyone but it was there. You can’t worry about people but be careful of people taking advantage of you. A good way to prevent people from taking advantage of you is to have the success of your own.
I heard many stories of how a boss was mean to their interns and then down the road, the interns were their boss. This doesn’t mean you should be a taker in a relationship, just give as much value as you can to everyone you know.
This goes into the other lesson from Marcus Aurelius where he said the best revenge is not to be like your enemy. If we continued the cycle of slighting others who did us wrong, it’s just going to set the wrong example for how we should be operating as a population.
It shouldn’t be an eye for an eye, because this then just creates a system of dishonesty and holding on to grudges. Revenge and jealousy are like drinking poison expecting the other person to be harmed. I’m not saying there shouldn’t be consequences for bad behavior but sometimes the best thing is just to separate yourself from the person who can’t learn from their own mistakes.
If they can learn from their own mistakes, then you should give them a second chance. Just focus on your personal growth and be a good person and that will be enough for revenge against anybody. Most people are not dealing with truly evil people. They deal with people who have their own needs, wants, and concerns and based on their past experience, might not know what is the past action to choose when dealing with other people.
So you can instruct somebody how to get better or you can endure them. One way to endure them is just to keep your distance from that person and just focus on your success. You don’t need to become a millionaire to have massive success. As long as you’re in the career that you love, have friends and family that bring you joy, you have good health, and being a good person, that is all you need.
Having feelings of jealousy and envy are just going to be prescriptions to being miserable. Plus is just creates tension that will never go away until those things are resolved. People want justice but sometimes you just have to know when to fold them and just focus on what you can do as a person.
You cannot control other people and what they do. You can inform them by communicating with them and instructing them. If do this, you can’t be hostile about it, you have to know how to use emotional intelligence. If you go into the conversation about how much you hate the other person, it will make for a good reality show but it won’t help solve your problems. You have to go into rationally and use I statement about how it makes you feel and offer a solution to make things better in the future.
This takes time and practice but it will be much better than trying to force the other person to do something. If they don’t want to take the advice just focus on you and what you can do. As I said, you might have to distance yourself away from the person and just tell yourself that you’re not going to be like that person. You can also use that as fuel to get better. Michael Jordan used other people’s smack talk to fuel his performances. Same with Kobe. I’ve used this method, to help me get past somethings to help me focus on doing work that matters like studying and working on my business. I want to show certain people that I’m better off for making these decisions and not settling. You can overdo this and I’m not going to go out of my way to rub it in anyone’s face. I’m just going to be the best version of myself possible but I also want to see how much I can achieve as well.
Anger can be a good tool if you use correctly. It can help you stay focus on the task in front of you if you take positive action but it can consume you if you’re passive about your actions and it clouds your judgment. This can help you build massive success but make sure it’s used in the right way. You want to become Luke Skywalker, not Darth Vader.
That’s it for today’s episode, to summarize it, the best revenge is a massive success and not to be like your enemies. This is going to take self-reflection and knowing how to communicate properly. I feel like a good book on how to communicate properly is the Feeling Good Handbook by David Burns. So go check that book. Also, go check out the book Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss. For self-reflection I would recommend meditation, writing in a journal, and taking improv classes. You can use your energy for good or evil, just make sure you’re using it for good and the world will be a better place.
To get a free copy of my book “More You Know, More You Grow: How to get better every day” just go to my website growwithjoe.me/book and just pay for shipping and handling.
I have a quiz on my website that grades your inner circle, so if you want to find out if your inner circle is an A, B, C, D, or F, you can take that quiz at growwithjoe.me/quiz
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Thanks for joining me today and remember if you go with Joe, you can grow with Joe, cause Joe knows Dough.
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