In this episode, we discuss the importance of not telling yourself things that you don’t want to become true.
Full Transcript
Hi Everyone, welcome to the You’re Daily Cup of Joe Podcast, with your host Joe Bautista. In this podcast, my goal is to give you quick lessons on how to grow yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually so you can have better careers, better relationships, and better personal finances.
I’m also the author of the book “More You Know, More You Grow: How to Get Better Every Day”. In this book, I wrote down over 30 tips to help you grow in those four cornerstones. I’m also the founder of Grow With Joe, where I combine self-development coaching and financial planning for Latino Professionals.
In today’s episode, we’re are going to talk about how we shouldn’t say anything that we don’t want to become true. I refuse to talk down to myself where I say I’m an idiot or I’m not good enough, because I know if I tell myself those things, then it can create a system where I’m not living up to my potential. Plus it can also create imposter syndrome where I think I’m not good enough for a role because of the things I’m telling myself.
If I do mess up, I’m just going to say that I messed up and that I’m going to do better the next time around. When you start to tell yourself things that are not true, that is when you start to believe them. Other people can tell you things that are not true and you can believe them. I remember when I was in middle school, I had to go to my English teacher to see which track I was going to be on for writing. Was I going to take the advanced class or go on the standard track? She urged me to take the standard track.
I feel like I didn’t really learn how to become a writer in school. I don’t blame the teachers because the system is not set-up to give every student specialized attention. So when I was doing mediocre in my English classes, I thought I was just a mediocre writer. I was a mediocre writer because I didn’t proof-read my papers and I would just write them once and turn them in with a lot of grammatical mistakes and I repeated a lot of stuff. Then once I let the writing script continue on in high school and at the beginning of college, I was already years behind. Now I think I’m a fine writer, maybe not the best but I am so much better now than I was in the past.
Know I will never say that I’m a horrible writer, I will just say that I’m not good at those things. I will still say that I’m not good at things but I will say that I’m not good at that thing and I’m not willing to put in the effort to get better at that thing. I don’t have all the time in the world and I need to prioritize my attention to make sure I’m growing the things I want to grow. If you play a video game like Skyrim, there are many different professions that you can choose from and you really should specialize in those areas or you just become mediocre overall. It’s better to be a highly specialized warrior than a mediocre warrior and mage at the same time. You’re going to have tougher battles if you spread yourself too thin.
I know that I’m not good at a game like Fortnite because I’m not willing to put in the hours to become great at that game. I’m not a good pool player because I don’t want to practice becoming better at it. There are some short cuts I could take to become a mediocre pool player or Fortnite player to become a better one if I just learned the fundamentals, but the idea is that I’m not a forever bad player, I just choose to focus my time and energy on something else.
Once you start telling yourself things that you don’t want to be true, it creates a very shaky foundation. One comment about your performance can take everything from you. If you think you’re a bad writer and you think that something didn’t go well at work, you might start thinking that your writing was the cause of your downfall. It might but it could also be something else. But then it can be a slippery slide towards mediocrity where you say you’re not good enough and no wonder that can move up and then that mindset might become reality. Once it becomes a reality, then it becomes true.
If you say you hate working out, then it will become true and then become reality. Maybe you don’t like running but there are other things you can do to workout that doesn’t involve running. I don’t like running myself because I have lower back pain and heel pain and those things can become worse from working out but I can ride a bike and do a HIIT Workout that doesn’t aggravate those injuries. Just choosing not to work out for the rest of your life because you don’t like working out is not going to be good for your health. You can also add things to your workout so that it can be more enjoyable. You can find a great podcast like Serial to listen to while you run or walk. You can also do walking meetings where you talk on the phone while you get your steps in. So find a reward, just don’t tell yourself that you’re never going to work out because you hate it.
Same thing with reading books. You don’t have to read all of one book if you don’t like it. You can quit it and move on to something else. There are alternatives but if you leave it as an all or nothing scenario, then that is when we stop challenging ourselves and stop growing. And when we stop growing that’s when bigger problems come into our lives.
If life is good right now, think of it as summer. In summer should play but also prepare for winter. If you wait for winter until it’s time to get serious, you might not have enough time to prepare for the winter, and you might freeze to death. So if you tell yourself the wrong things that become true, then you could be heading into a very rough winter. I’m so glad I took the time to become a better writer. I still make mistakes in my writing but it’s a million times better than what I did in the past. To prepare for the future, you’re going to have to do things that will have to be good at like math and communicating. Don’t be wrong at something for too long or it will cost you your life.
That’s it for today’s episode, to summarize it, don’t say anything you don’t want to become true. When you do this, it’s just going to set you back as a person and then you’re going to have to do twice or even ten times the amount of work to turn that thing you thought was true, into a false positive. Don’t waste time, so get things right on the first attempt if you can, if not the first try for the second or third. Just make sure it’s on the second if you can and not the 100th try when you could have done something on the third try with the right mindset.
To get a free copy of my book “More You Know, More You Grow: How to get better every day” just go to my website growwithjoe.me/book and just pay for shipping and handling.
I have a quiz on my website that grades your inner circle, so if you want to find out if your inner circle is an A, B, C, D, or F, you can take that quiz at growwithjoe.me/quiz
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Thanks for joining me today and remember if you go with Joe, you can grow with Joe, cause Joe knows Dough.
*Music outro
