In this episode, we discuss how sometimes it’s best to move on from your dreams.
Full Transcript
Hi Everyone, welcome to the You’re Daily Cup of Joe Podcast, with your host Joe Bautista. In this podcast, my goal is to give you quick lessons on how to grow yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually so you can have better careers, better relationships, and better personal finances.
I’m also the author of the book “More You Know, More You Grow: How to Get Better Every Day”. In this book, I wrote down over 30 tips to help you grow in those four cornerstones. I’m also the founder of Grow With Joe, where I combine self-development coaching and financial planning for Latino Professionals.
In today’s episode, we’re are going to talk about how sometimes you should move on from your dreams. This is a lesson that I got from Charlamagne Tha God and his book Black Privilege: Opportunities come to those who create it. I really liked this book and the message that it had.
There was one chapter that I really paid attention to and that was the one called Fuck Your Dreams. See Charlamagne grew up in a poor town in South Carolina where it was is easy to get drunk all day or fall into a life of crime because there were many opportunities around. And one of the careers that people tried to get into to help them escape poverty was going into music.
During his early adult years, Charlamagne worked at the radio station and also tried to get his hand into rapping but the key thing was that he wasn’t that good at rapping and probably never was going to be good enough to make it. This caused to producing to come to him one day and told him that he should fuck his dreams.
Charlamagne thought long and hard about this and realized that he should just stick with the radio and it was the best choice for him. Instead of struggle years and years on something that was most likely not going to work out, he chooses the thing that he was really good and has done amazing with his radio career, which leads to other opportunities in television.
From the book, it seemed that the only way to make it out of South Carolina was to be a rapper and that’s why Charlamagne dabbles as a rapper for a little bit. There are many paths to success and it wise to know your options. Once Charlamagne stuck with radio, he soon found a job in New York City working with Wendy Williams on her show.
He did this for free for a while and then he had a falling out with Wendy Williams but he soon landed his own show in New York City. This took a long time for him to complete but he went to the place where the most opportunities were for his talents.
There is probably going to be a point in your life where you’re going to have to give up something that you think you’re supposed to do. When I first got into financial planning, I thought you could only join a Brokerage firm in which their agents go out and sell their financial products. So I interviewed at different brokerage firms because that is all I thought was out there. Then I got a job at one and work for them for four years.
I learned a lot from my last brokerage firm and I thought I was going to stick with them forever but I decided to break away from them. I know I made my supervisor upset and I was worried about all the clients I was leaving behind but I know I had to leave to do my own thing. I’m glad I’m not in that system anymore of being a broker and I’m glad I woke up from that dream to be a fee for service advisor that is more of a fiduciary to my clients.
Sometimes you have to fuck the dreams of others that put on you. I think that is what Charlamagne did, he took the dreams of someone else when he wanted to become a rapper so it really wasn’t his, to begin with. I know there are certain people in my life who dream I would do something else with my life, but those dreams are not mine, so I have to say fuck those dreams in the politest way possible. I have to be firm with my goals and what I want to accomplish in life.
Once you start saying fuck you to the dreams that don’t matter, then that is when you really start living your life. I’m so happy where I am right now. I’m starting over with my financial planning business but at least it’s for my dream. I know in a couple of years, I’ll be in a place where my dreams are and all the work will be worth it.
Don’t let someone else’s dreams be your dreams but you won’t be happy. When you’re younger though, you won’t have the experience to know what your dreams should ultimately be. It took me until my 30s to really understand the person I want and need to be. In the past, I thought I wanted to be a career Marine, but things changed. I also thought I wanted to become a computer programmer but I’m not willing to put in the work to become great at it. So to help you figure out which dreams you should go after, just keep exploring different ideas and experiences, and this should really help guide you in the right direction. Also, don’t let stuff control your dreams. Don’t let losing that fancy car, keep you in a nightmare. It’s not worth it.
That’s it for today’s episode, and to summarize it, you have to know when to say fuck your dreams. So to prevent yourself from living in a nightmare or living someone else’s dream, you have to have the self-awareness to know who you need to be as a person and the strength to actually be that person. The last thing you want to have happened in your life is to wake up when you’re in your 40s or 50s and wondered what happens with your life. This will happen if you start living someone else’s dream. The dream that you choose is actually up to you. You get to decide how big or how small it needs to be. It’s your dream, don’t let anyone else take it away from you and you should be fine in life.
Thanks for listening today! To get a free copy of my book “More You Know, More You Grow: How to get better every day” just go to my website growwithjoe.me/book and just pay for shipping and handling.
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