In this episode, we discuss how it’s best to be yourself because if you try to be someone else, it hardly works out for yourself.
Full Transcript
Hi Everyone, welcome to the You’re Daily Cup of Joe Podcast, with your host Joe Bautista. In this podcast, my goal is to give you quick lessons that you can reflect on in your journal so you can grow yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually and have a better career, better relationships, and better personal finances while you enjoy your morning cup of coffee.
I’m also the author of the book “More You Know, More You Grow: How to Get Better Every Day”. In this book, I wrote down over 30 tips to help you grow in those four cornerstones. I’m also the founder of Grow With Joe, where I combine self-development coaching and financial planning for Latino Professionals.
At the end of today’s podcast episode, I’m going to give you a prompt question to reflect on in your journal. The idea is to take one to five minutes to reflect on today’s lesson and write a minimum of one paragraph on how you can apply the lesson in your life life. You can use an actual journal, a word document like on Google Drive, or your note-taking app like Evernote. The idea is that you’re actually thinking about how to process the information to help you improve your life.
In today’s episode, we’re are going to talk about how we should never compromise or change yourself just to get someone to like you. This can be hard to follow because we are social creatures and want to feel that we belong in some type of group. These are human natures that can cause us to act compromise our self so that we can fit in.
But when we do this, we just are not being our true selves. I used to live in DC and I hate talking politics. I feel that if you want to have changed to happen the fastest, the best way to get it is to go out and get it for yourself. This is what I try to preach in my podcast and my book. Take extreme ownership over your life, don’t pass the buck to someone else. If you want to have a happy life, go out and get it for yourself.
So when you put your happiness into someone else liking you, then that is something you can’t control and can make you unhappy in the long run. You might get a quick hit of happiness but then you’re just weakening your emotional and spiritual self.
Then if that person leaves for some reason, then what is going to happen to you? It’s probably not going to be good. So I feel that we need to learn to love ourselves first. If we love ourselves first, then we can handle those moments of loneliness. I’m an introvert by nature so I really do enjoy my alone time but there are moments where I need to be around people. But I know that I need to be mentally strong enough to handle it.
And I do stuff to expand my network like reach out to five people in my network every day and go to networking events. I know there are a lot of people out there and I don’t need everyone to like me, so if a relationship doesn’t work out, I will quit that relationship and distance myself.
Life is too short to be someone else than me. Why am I going to spend a chunk of my valuable time doing stuff that I don’t enjoy? I lived in DC and when I first got there, I was surrounded by people in politics. I’m not a very political person because I don’t think it is very effective. I hate watching debates because they are just sound bites and I would rather read about a person’s views on a long formatted podcast like the Joe Rogan Podcast. I really enjoyed the one with Andrew Yang. But I hated being around people who talked about who was running and where they needed to focus energy at and who they should connect with. I like to talk business and eventually I found a crowd in DC that was more in line with my values.
I can interact with other people every once in a while but I’m not going to do it every day. I’m just going to be me. In life, you just need to know who you need to be in life, and then actually be that person. If you’re compromising yourself, then you’re not being you meant to be. I’m happy where I am with my life right now and I don’t think I’m changing who I am to get people to like me for the most part. I might change the way I talk in front of someone but I’m not going to say I like something when I really don’t. You can be interested and curious about the other person, but don’t try to fit in by changing yourself. It’s not worth it in the long run.
That’s it for today’s episode, and to summarize it, you should never compromise or change yourself just to get someone to like you. So know who you want to be in life and having the courage and confidence to be that person. We can’t be everything to everyone, it just too exhausting. You’ll just burn yourself out and then you’ll regret your choices. This is something we should avoid because we’re just wasting time and time is something we shouldn’t waste. I know when I’m on my death bed, I don’t want to regret my choices for what I did and didn’t do. And I’m going to miss out on a lot of the things that I didn’t do if compromise or change myself to get someone to like me. There are plenty of people out there, you just need a few close friends.
So in your journal, ask yourself, are there activities or people you’re hanging around that don’t align with your values as a person? Why are you hanging around those people or doing those things? How can you remove yourself from those things or be more true to yourself as a person? Take some time to write a paragraph or two in your journal to reflect. You don’t have to take action today on making the changes that you need to make, just remember that every day that passes by, is a day you won’t get back.
Thanks for listening today! To get a free copy of my book “More You Know, More You Grow: How to get better every day” just go to my website growwithjoe.me/book and just pay for shipping and handling.
I have a quiz on my website that grades your inner circle, so if you want to find out if your inner circle is an A, B, C, D, or F, you can take that quiz at growwithjoe.me/quiz
I’m also trying to do a feedback Friday episode, so if you have a question that you would like to have my answer on the air, just e-mail me on [email protected]
I’m also on Instagram at Grow With Joe and Facebook just look up Grow With Joe
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Thanks for joining me today and remember if you go with Joe, you can grow with Joe, cause Joe knows Dough.
*Music outro
