In this episode, we discuss how using people’s names can help you out in your day to day life.
Full Transcript
Hi Everyone, welcome to the You’re Daily Cup of Joe Podcast, with your host Joe Bautista. In this podcast, my goal is to give you quick lessons that you can reflect on in your journal so you can grow yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually and have a better career, better relationships, and better personal finances while you enjoy your morning cup of coffee.
I’m also the author of the book “More You Know, More You Grow: How to Get Better Every Day”. In this book, I wrote down over 30 tips to help you grow in those four cornerstones. I’m also the founder of Grow With Joe, where I combine self-development coaching and financial planning for Latino Professionals.
At the end of today’s podcast episode, I’m going to give you a prompt question to reflect on in your journal. The idea is to take one to five minutes to reflect on today’s lesson and write a minimum of one paragraph on how you can apply the lesson in your life. You can use an actual journal, a word document like on Google Drive, or your note-taking app like Evernote. The idea is that you’re actually thinking about how to process the information to help you improve your life.
In today’s episode, we’re are going to talk about the sweetest thing to hear and that is your own name. This is a valuable lesson I learned from the Dale Carnegie book, How To Win Friends and Influence People. Interesting fact, Warren Buffett likes to credit a Dale Carnegie course for helping him become a billionaire. If you want to make it on this planet then you need to know how to interact with other people. This is how you become really successful in this world. You have remembered that intelligence does not equal success. You know to know more things than just how to do your job.
As a kid, I was really shy and didn’t want to interact with other people. If I was talking in a group circle, I would literally just leave the circle without saying goodbye to anyone. This social awkwardness didn’t really end until I left the Marine Corps and started living in Washington, DC. I noticed in DC that if you wanted to make it far in life, you have to work on your circle of friends and acquaintances. This is the reason why I wanted to read the Dale Carnegie book because I wanted to make sure I created stronger friendships. One of the best lessons that I learned from the book is that you need to learn about other people’s names. When calling somebody by their name, it just makes them feel good.
If you’re at a coffee shop or at a bar and you thank the person working they’re by their name, then they are more likely to pay attention to you and like you. There have been many times where I got a free shot at a bar because I got to know the bartender’s name and I just repeatedly used it while I was there. At first, I would just order my drink and then once I got my drink, I would ask for their name and then I would thank them with their name at the end. Then when I needed another drink, I would just go Hey Brian, can I get another beer.
If you treat the bartender or the barista like a robot, they are less likely wanting to help you than if you get to know their name. You made them feel human and like they matter.
I always try to get to know the name of the people I interact with. I was at an Airbnb in Mexico City and I got to name the names of all the security guards at the front door. Then when I was having trouble, they would help me out. Plus when a new security guard showed up, he asks me if I lived there and I said yes. I know Francisco and Jorge, and they let me in. I even had a package delivered to me that wasn’t supposed to be delivered to my Airbnb but since the security guards knew my name, they kept the package and saved it for me. That saved my butt.
These are the type of situations where you want people on your side. The security guard could have easily dismissed the package but he helped me out because I made a connection with him. This has happened in my life countless times. I just knew the right people and I was taken care of and really just started with knowing people’s names. I remember there was this one friendly guy in DC and security guards would just let him walk through the building without having to check anything and since I knew him, I didn’t have to go through security at all. I was like, okay, that was cool. Once you have the trust than that can speed up a lot of things.
Plus there is nothing really worse than not knowing someone’s name. It happens to me occasionally and I always feel bad. There can happen if you haven’t seen the person in about a year, but if you see the person over and over again, then it’s not really an excuse. Although there is something called Dunbar’s number that states we can only really remember 150 names because back in the day, that’s how big tribes got. And if you look at organizations and the military, departments usually don’t get bigger than 150 people because then people get forgotten. This one reason why I add people on LinkedIn and Facebook because if I forget someone’s name then I can go into my social media accounts and look them up by their association with a friend.
I also keep people’s names and interests in my Evernote, note-taking app because I want to bring up something that we connected on. If you can remember something that you talked about the past or know what they like, this will help you even more. This is what Bill Clinton did in the 70s. But instead of using his cellphone, he used index cards and a pen. He got to know people’s names and their interests, and then he would bring it up. I’ve heard that Bill Clinton does a great job of making sure that when he talks to you, it seems that you’re the only person that matters. This is the next level Dale Carnegie status.
What is all comes down is that you make sure people feel like they matter? You’re not walking all over them or take advantage of them. If you do this, then you’re going to have more people in your corner and that might be very valuable one day.
That’s it for today’s episode, to summarize it, the sweetest thing to hear is your own voice. So make sure that you take time to remember people’s names. It will make them feel good and it will just bring more goodwill to the world. Plus it could be your lifesaver in the future. You don’t know when you might need to call in a favor, but if you get to know more people and know their names and interests, then you’re more likely to get a favor done for you. No one wants to deal with jerks and if you treat people like robots, then you’re a jerk, and that is not helping anyone.
So in your journal, ask yourself, who are people that you interact with that you need to know better? Is it the front desk receptionist? Is it people at the restaurant that you always go to? Your barista? Just take some time and banter with the other person. Just make this a habit and you’ll see that it will benefit you.
Thanks for listening today! To get a free copy of my book “More You Know, More You Grow: How to get better every day” just go to my website growwithjoe.me/book and just pay for shipping and handling.
I have a quiz on my website that grades your inner circle, so if you want to find out if your inner circle is an A, B, C, D, or F, you can take that quiz at growwithjoe.me/quiz
I’m also trying to do a feedback Friday episode, so if you have a question that you would like to have my answer on the air, just e-mail me at [email protected]
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Thanks for joining me today and remember if you go with Joe, you can grow with Joe, cause Joe knows Dough.
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