Full Transcript
Hi Everyone, welcome to the You’re Daily Cup of Joe Podcast, with your host Joe Bautista. In this podcast, my goal is to give you quick lessons that you can reflect on in your journal so you can grow yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually and have a better career, better relationships, and better personal finances while you enjoy your morning cup of coffee.
I’m also the author of the book “More You Know, More You Grow: How to Get Better Every Day”. In this book, I wrote down over 30 tips to help you grow in those four cornerstones. I’m also the founder of Grow With Joe, where I combine self-development coaching and financial planning for Latino Professionals.
In today’s episode, we are going to talk about how we often suffer more in imagination than in reality. And the morning I wrote this episode, I was having a moment of doubt in my mind when I woke up. I was wondering if I should continue to do my work. I guess the reason why I was having it was because my canvas app wasn’t working and I could be working on my stuff for my business. Then my Blazers lost against the Lakers in Game 2, so I was not in a strong mental place when I woke up. I guess it’s because I lost momentum.
But after going on for my walk, and then listening to a motivational YouTube video with Bill Burr, then that kick-started me back into work. Plus I worked out and my back is feeling a lot better. I’ve been dealing with back spasms for the past two weeks. So maybe that’s why I’m not in a strong place mentally as well. But these issues are only temporary and then can be fixed. Then when I woke up the next morning, my canva app seemed to be working again so that’s good news.
It’s not good to go into doom scenarios because most of the time they’re not going to come true. As people, we like to think there are 2-3 outcomes for our lives, but in reality, there are millions. We are interacting with 7.7 billion people on this planet, all the interactions create a unique scenario for us. Plus when we get to the future than we envisioned, then we can adapt to that situation and make things different. The only way we stay stuck in a doomsday scenario is if we stay passive about the situation.
You can remove that situation from that situation, or you do things to make it better. Plus when you take an active approach to that thing that is causing you suffering, that means you’re taking ownership of the situation and then can decide how to fix it. Now there are good ways to solve a problem and there are bad ways to solve a problem. I recently was trying to solve a problem where I needed to talk to someone about something, and I reached out to two different folks about advice. And after talking to them, I felt a lot more confident about my situation. I was suffering from my imagination but then reality and their advice gave me the perspective to get past the anxiety of the situation.
There are not as bad as they seem. They can suck at the moment, but they can provide learning opportunities to get much better in the future. If you need to tell someone if your family or someone you love something difficult, the real ones will forgive you and continue to show you, unconditional love. As long as you’re coming from a good place, then things will become stronger in the future. Anytime there is a change to the status quo, things are going to be a little shaky because there is disorder now. And once there is a disorder, it takes time for things to settle back into the new order. And it’s in this disorder than we suffer. And we can suffer if we don’t have a good foundation to handle change.
If you’re in a relationship and you don’t properly communicate, then one partner might be satisfied with how things are going and the other is dissatisfied. Then when the dissatisfied partner, says something to shake up the status quo, then it might cause the relationship to end. This can be a good thing. I have had relationships ended on me, and I’ve ended relationships, and you get a lot of ideas in your head about changing the status quo, but once you say what you need to say, or express your expectations, then things will be better down the road.
Having an okay relationship is not okay. Same with a lot of other things in life. And in most cases, to get that great life, we need to get passed this illusion of suffering because the reality is much different. Things are not going to be perfect, but they can be more perfect if you have the right perception of life and are not suffering by life.
And that’s it for today’s episode, to summarize it, we suffer more often in imagination than in reality. This is another cognitive distortion that people have, and it’s because we’re afraid of the uncertainty. People prefer certainty way more than the uncertain. I think this is why people stick with their jobs even though 70 percent of folks don’t like their jobs. And as a business owner, there is a lot of uncertainty. You wonder if you can pay your bills then next month. This might be a valid issue, or it might not be. The best way to live life is to experiment as much as you can. And when you do your experiments, make sure you’re accepting little risk. Make sure that if things blow up, you’re not harmed that much. Missing out on a relationship is pretty low risk because there are tons of other people in this world. Missing out on one customer is not the end of the world for the same reason. It’s going to be hard in most cases, but don’t make it harder by perceiving things worst than they actually are. If you do this, then you’re going to have more needless suffering, and who wants something that is needless. Not me.
If you would like to get the journal questions for today’s episode, you can sign-up for my monthly journaling subscription newsletter, where you get daily journal questions Monday through Friday, and as a bonus, you will also get my time management course and my personal development cheat sheet. You can get all this for $13/mo, which is less than the cost of an audible subscription and it’s less work to gain more wisdom. You can get this offer at growwithjoe.me/journal
Thanks for listening today! To get a free copy of my Audiobook “More You Know, More You Grow: How to get better every day” just go to my website growwithjoe.me/book and you can download it right there.
I have a quiz on my website that grades your inner circle, so if you want to find out if your inner circle is an A, B, C, D, or F, you can take that quiz at growwithjoe.me/quiz
I’m also on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook just look up Grow With Joe
If you’re on iTunes, don’t forget to give me a five-star rating if you liked this episode and hit the subscribe button as well.
The greatest way to support this show is to share it with someone else.
Thanks for joining me today and remember if you go with Joe, you can grow with Joe, cause Joe knows Dough.
*Music outro
Additional Resources
Get my personal development book for free
