Full Transcript
Hi Everyone, welcome to the You’re Daily Cup of Joe Podcast, with your host Joe Bautista. In this podcast, my goal is to give you quick lessons that you can reflect on in your journal so you can grow yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually and have a better career, better relationships, and better personal finances while you enjoy your morning cup of coffee.
I’m also the author of the book “More You Know, More You Grow: How to Get Better Every Day”. In this book, I wrote down over 30 tips to help you grow in those four cornerstones. I’m also the founder of Grow With Joe, where I combine self-development coaching and financial planning for Latino Professionals.
In today’s episode, we are going to discuss how the illusion of communicating is the biggest problem with communication. There is a really good negotiation story of how a baker and a bartender are fighting over an orange. Both want the orange for their jobs and there is only one left. Now both parties are not explaining to the other party why the orange is important to them. Now, most people start with what they want, instead of why they want something. And in this case, the reason why the baker wants the orange is for the zest to make scones, and the bartender wants the orange for the juice inside.
And this is the problem with most communication, and it’s that there is an illusion that there is communicating. If both the bartender and the baker actually communicated their needs, then they would have settled the issue a long time ago.
Right now I’m reading Principles by Ray Dalio which covers what is important for business and in life. And that required radical truth and transparency. If you don’t have this at work and in your relationships, then it’s going to cause a lot of problems. Because people are not going to be in sync, and this is just going to cause some type of conflict. And we want to avoid serious conflict.
If we communicate with radical truth and transparency, then it can cause pain, but if everyone is able to reflect on that pain and learn from it, then we can have growth. Thinking about my work experiences and my personal relationships, the worth things I did was not properly communicate or seek to receive honest feedback from others.
Now looking forward, I know what I need to do to properly communicate with folks. One thing I do at the end of my coaching meetings is what can I do to improve this relationship and is there anything I can do better to serve you. I also need to start asking my clients, is imagine one year from now, what will make this a success. If I know their expectations and they know mine, then we can communicate better. It’s when we don’t know our expectations, that’s when conflict begins and then just grows from there.
This is the biggest problem that we can have with communication, thinking that things are going well when they are not. So let’s make sure we know how to communicate and show patience and respect when we do so. If we do this then life should be better for everyone.
That’s it for today’s episode, to summarize it, the biggest problem when it comes to communication is the illusion of communication. So let’s make sure we know other people’s expectations and that they know our expectations as well. I would recommend that people read Principles by Ray Dalio for work and the Feeling Good Handbook for couples and friends. Both books can help with work relationships and personal ones. When we can have radical transparency and honesty with our communication without being a jerk, then we can see amazing levels of growth in our relationships and when we have strong relationships, we can handle more of life’s obstacles with ease. Life is already difficult enough, might as well make sure that we do things to make the journey easier.
If you would like to get the journal questions for today’s episode, you can sign-up for my monthly journaling subscription newsletter, where you get daily journal questions Monday through Friday, and as a bonus, you will also get my time management course and my personal development cheat sheet. You can get all this for $13/mo, which is less than the cost of an audible subscription and it’s less work to gain more wisdom. You can get this offer at growwithjoe.me/journal
Thanks for listening today! To get a free copy of my Audiobook “More You Know, More You Grow: How to get better every day” just go to my website growwithjoe.me/book and you can download it right there.
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Thanks for joining me today and remember if you go with Joe, you can grow with Joe, cause Joe knows Dough.
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