In this six-part series, we discuss the different ways to become miserable. In this episode, we discuss how envy causes you to become miserable as a person.
Full Transcript
Hi Everyone, welcome to the You’re Daily Cup of Joe Podcast, with your host Joe Bautista. In this podcast, my goal is to give you quick lessons on how to grow yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually so you can have better careers, better relationships, and better personal finances.
I’m also the author of the book “More You Know, More You Grow: How to Get Better Every Day”. In this book, I wrote down over 30 tips to help you grow in those four cornerstones. I’m also the founder of Grow With Joe where I combine financial planning with self-development coaching for Latino professionals.
In today’s episode, we’re are going to talk about part 5 of the six part series on the prescriptions to be miserable. The fifth way to get a prescription to become miserable is to have envy. Now envy is a feeling that a lot of folks have, and I have at times because I want the other person has.
You think that the other person is not deserving or they had an unfair advantage and then you start to act differently in front of the other person. The key thing with envy is that it is something that robs you a lot of your energy since you’re giving your energy away to that person that you envy.
One thing that mentally strong people don’t do is give up their power to someone else. Every second that I focus on what this person has that I don’t have, is one second that is being wasted that will give me to benefit.
I guess if you use that as fuel to help you do better but if you’re going to do that, what you have to do is not sulk on the lack of resources and focus on taking action so you get what you want out of life. Plus for most people who have what they have, they worked for it.
Even if someone’s parents paid for someone’s way through college, they still had to go through the classes and still have to go find a job. There are always going to be exceptions to this and those are things that you can’t control. Another thing that mentally strong people don’t do is expect the world to revolve around them and their needs.
This is why I like to go hiking where I can get to a ridge and see how big nature is and makes me realize that I’m not as significant as I think I am and it helps me stay humble in life. So if someone has something I don’t have, I just ask myself, what do I need to do to get the same thing.
If it’s a career, a relationship, or something materialistic, I just say, what is the process that I need to go through to get what I’m after. I don’t expect the world to change for myself, I change myself so that I can’t get what I want out of the world. If I was to just stay the same person from when I was in high school, I would be in a lot of trouble right now because that kid was shy, he had confidence issues from being overweight and didn’t really know what he wanted out of life.
As a kid, I saw what other people had and I asked myself what I needed to do to get to that lifestyle, and that’s why I went into the Marines so I could get my education paid for, that why I work so hard on myself physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. If I was to stay envious of others, all my energy would be put into that and I would say why work on myself because it will be for nothing.
But I just tell myself, this is who I am, this is what I have, and this is where I want to go. Now, what do I have to do get where I need to go. Do I need to add another skills? Do I need to reach out to someone for help? Do I need to remove something from my life?
You can’t ask those types of questions if you have envy in your life. If there is an injustice in the world, you can either endure that injustice or you can instruct. There is no use for complaining. So you can try to educate someone but I feel the best way is to set the example and be a good person.
I’ve been envious in the past and it does nothing but cause me to decay. And sometimes your envious about something and when you really go through that thing, you realize it’s not a great as it seems. I remember that I wanted to start a business because you don’t have to answer anybody, you can work on what you want to work on but I was not aware of all the work that is required to maintain a business.
I’m learning a lot now and I’m enjoying it, but if you’re envious somebody, you have to remember that you’re probably just seeing their highlight reel. So make sure you seek to understand first before you seek to be understood because it will most likely tell you the backstory of how things became the way they are right now. Most people assume that I like working out so much because I went through the Marines and that’s why it is easy for me but I grew up being overweight as a kid and I don’t want to go back to that lifestyle ever again and that’s why I make working out a priority. So I know there is always a back story for how people became the way they are right now.
Envy is not a great thing to have and it is an energy vampire that will suck all your energy so that you won’t be able to work on the things that will really progress your life forward.
Thanks for listening to today’s episode, to summarize it, if you want to become miserable in life, then just a dose of envy to your life. This will cause you to focus on the things that you don’t have in life and cause you to not work on yourself in a healthy way that will help you get what you want out of life. So if you want to have a great life, try to the best of your ability to remove envy from your life and just focus on your progress. Don’t worry about what others have, just worry about being a good person, being true to yourself, and try to get one percent better every single day. If you do this, then you can live a great life.
To get a free copy of my book “More You Know, More You Grow: How to get better every day” just go to my website growwithjoe.me/book and just pay for shipping and handling.
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